


see how my throat is filling with salt

by sandyk



Series: season 3 tried to be canon post eps [1]
Category: Superstore (TV)
Genre: Gen, Jonah is lusting for Amy but not a shippy story per se, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, really very Jewish Jonah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-15 22:26:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12330105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/pseuds/sandyk
Summary: Post ep for 3.01. Jonah could see his own reflection in the computer screen. He looked not great.





	see how my throat is filling with salt

**Author's Note:**

> Title and opening quote from so often the body becomes a distraction by Kaveh Akbar. Jonah repeatedly quotes the Leonard Cohen song Who by Fire. Not mine, no profit garnered.

_I’ve heard_  
_you die young if you don’t sleep, but if you do_  
_you’ll just snooze through your extra time._  
_Like the headless grasshopper and his still-_  
_twitching legs, I'm learning how much of myself_  
_I don’t actually need._

For Rosh Hashanah, Jonah forced himself to go buy a suit. He'd been hoarding his money and the space on his credit card, but he was pretty sure every Simms and Rosenberg going back 5 generations would rise from the grave to scold him if he wore his tornado day clothes to services. He went somewhere better than Cloud 9, and he ended up paying about $350 for a nice suit and two dress shirts and two ties. He wanted to be able to mix it up for Yom Kippur. He felt like he was probably spending too much, but it was the New Year.

When he got back to his trailer, he realized he'd left his phone at home and he realized it because someone stole his phone. He spent three hours staring at the walls and then forced himself to get into his car and go to the library. He loved the library. Not so much that day, since all he was doing was logging on, reporting his phone stolen, making sure no one could access his bank and his credit card and his Facebook and his Instagram and his Paypal. Also his Venmo and Zelle.

He could see his own reflection in the computer screen. He looked not great.

He composed an email in Gmail to his parents. He contemplated hitting send but he had to go to services.

It was free, though Jonah had already donated, and 95% of the services were in Hebrew. Jonah's Hebrew was rusty but still good enough. It was more meaningful than it had been in the past few years, maybe since Jonah was in college and he'd thought very seriously about everything.

Nothing had been stolen from his trailer when he got home from evening services. He put on his second shirt and second tie and went to the day services. Then he went to a park where he'd seen a Reform temple advertising come one come all tashlich. A pretty teenager smiled at him and gave him some bread. "Sin bread," she said, laughing.

"Thank you," he said. He ripped off a small bit and threw it into the stream, for the time he kissed a married woman. He'd been arrogant, he'd gossiped. He'd lusted for a married woman, he ripped off a lot of bread for that one.

Jonah went back to the library and checked to make sure he hadn't lost anything to his phone theft. As he'd expected, the payout from his renter's insurance still hadn't been issued. He sent an email asking if the insurance company had some idea when it would happen.

His first day back at Cloud 9 wasn't great. But it was better than the last few weeks, because people were talking to him. Even before his phone was stolen, he'd gotten one text from Garrett in 2 months, nothing from Amy, Mateo, Cheyenne or Dina. Not that surprising but it would have been nice. Marcus had pinged him four times so at least someone thought of him.

Jonah asked Glenn for Friday night and Saturday off. Glenn frowned and then Jonah said it was a very important Jewish holiday. "Remember, I asked for it off last year?"

"But it wasn't September, was it?"

"Nope, it was early October. But I did ask for it off and you did give it to me. I think there was a memo from corporate," Jonah said.

"Oh, okay, okay," Glenn said.

Friday night Jonah went to the tiny congregation. He'd bought 2 new button downs from Cloud 9. Luckily he could just wear his tornado sneakers to Friday and Saturday. Some traditions were breaking his way.

He felt some kind of transcendent fuzzy-headedness from the fasting and praying. The High Holy Days always made him think of Leonard Cohen, he had songs for each holiday; the Story of Isaac and Who By Fire. Who shall I say is calling, he sang as he drove home. He broke his fast at Garrett's, with pizza he'd had delivered. He was running through his money. He'd bought clothes and a razor and unscented body wash products and product for his hair. He'd been waiting until he could use Cloud 9 discount, which was probably a neurotic overreaction. He could admit that. He'd lost everything he owned, he didn't even have his Putin painting anymore.

Back at work, Glenn asked him how his holiday went. "Well," Jonah said. "I fasted for 25 hours, prayed for atonement, listed my sins."

"Huh," Glenn said. "That doesn't sound fun."

"It's not supposed to be fun," Jonah said.

"I fasted once," Glenn said. "For a colonoscopy."

"Huh," Jonah said.

"I have the video, if you wanted to watch it," Glenn said.

Jonah logged on to one of the computers in electronics, checked his email. Still no insurance check. He should bite the bullet and get a new phone. He looked through a few models and then he browsed through Mother Jones and the Guardian and then read Robot Hugs comics. After 30 minutes he went back to stocking the store which still wasn't really ready to open but was, of course, open.

At the library, he read another year of Robot Hugs and then looked at his draft email still sitting here. Who in your merry merry month of May, he sang in his head.

He went back to Garrett's and tried to enter quietly, sort of. Garrett said, "Where the hell were you?"

"You said Wednesdays I had to go somewhere else because your black friends were over," Jonah said. No one was around.

"I meant that before you moved in and I discovered you are a sad ass depressed pathetic man. You haven't even bought a new phone, man. In your state, sure, you can hang with my friends." Garrett frowned and looked around. "Though I guess I should take into account how much you'd depress everyone else."

"I'm not that depressed," Jonah said. "I think I've gotten good at faking positivity."

"Sure, sure, at work," Garrett said. "Back here you're like a lump of loss and melancholy."

"So I could cook fish?"

"No, no, under no circumstances," Garrett said. "Hey, make that face again." Garrett took out his phone.

"Which face?"

"Oh, that's good," Garrett said.

Jonah went back to his room and listened to music on his donated cd player from the cds he'd checked out of the library.

In the morning, he went to the Cloud 9 computers again and looked at his email. Who for his greed, who for his hunger, Jonah sang in his head. He hummed as he browsed through his email.

Amy walked up to him and said, "Are you looking at porn?"

"Nope," Jonah said. "I'm trying to decide if I should send this email."

"Is it an email about how you should just buy a new phone?" Amy was leaning to one side.

"No," Jonah said. They were still friends, apparently, even if it was super awkward. He said, "I composed an email to my parents asking for a plane ticket home. You know, everything I own now fits into two suitcases, so it would be pretty easy."

"Start over in New York?" She sounded almost like she didn't want him to.

"Connecticut," Jonah said. "I mean, I'd have to re-apply to business school. In Connecticut. And get my MBA for real. But they'd buy me a new phone. Probably the iPhone8."

"The $1000 phone?"

"They have a good family plan," Jonah said. "And then I'd have to get a job that required an MBA."

"Like your friend Rex," Amy said. She was definitely frowning. "So you get knocked down and lost all your stuff and someone stole your phone and you're still working at Cloud 9. Just gonna give up?"

"I guess Glenn would be pretty sad," Jonah said.

"Oh, God, please don't do that to Glenn," Amy said. "But, of course, if you think you should."

"I don't really want to," Jonah said.

"Then don't," Amy said. "Or you can wait a few days. Sleep on it. See what it's like after a week not living in a trailer."

"Sure," Jonah said. "See where things go."

"We could have sex," Amy said.

"You offer that a lot," Jonah said. 

"Twice isn't a lot," Amy said. "Garrett suggested it." She held up her phone. There was a picture of Jonah with a blank slash sad expression. It was from the day before. 

Garret had written 'u r single now come over and fuck him happy, I can't listen to any more wilco'

"It's not all Wilco. I have this donated CD player and I check out CDs from the library. They have a lot of Wilco," Jonah said. 

"Here's a thought: ask your parents for a new phone." 

Jonah sighed. "I really don't want to hear how this was my fault and if I'd just tried harder in business school, I wouldn't have been in the path of the tornado, etc."

"Just tune it out, I'll have Emma call you and explain how," Amy said. 

Jonah smiled and stepped away from the computer.


End file.
